Posted in Alaska by Hannah Vitkus on 9/14/2011
I cannot believe that is is already half-way through the month of September.
My life keeps flying by faster than ever before.
I am still in southeast Alaska as I write this, waiting for a phone interview for a non-profit in Washington D.C. While I'd prefer to relocate back to Nashville, I have been pursuing non-profit positions in D.C., Portland, San Francisco, and Denver as of late. I think it is time for me to put down some roots, invest in a church again, invest in a community again, invest in my future academic goals, and everything else that is connected to 'settling down.'
I am 25.5 now and while I still long to live, serve, and work abroad again, I am reminded of the practical sides of life that weigh me down, although in a "good" way.
So, even though my answer to this post's title question is riddled with unknowns, I know that if I keep pursuing God as I pursue the goals, dreams, and desires He has given me, my way may be complicated, but He will be a part of it.
As always, thank you for reading my ramblings. :-)
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Posted in Alaska by Hannah Vitkus on 6/30/2011
Loud parties.
Broken hearts.
Fits of anger.
Messes upon messes.
Mistakes.
Regrets.
"I did not sign up for this," I grumbled to myself as I cleaned up the shared kitchen after another rowdy night in Alaska. My colleagues and I live in company-owned housing, where nightly parties, over-drinking, and similar activities are a nearly nightly occurance. I had no idea what I walked into 8 weeks ago.
I choose to move up to Alaska for not just a job, but as an opportunity to reflect and adjust to life, work on my non-profit, go on a few adventures, and make a friend or two. But what it has become is an opportunity.
An opportunity to love a group of 20- and 30-somethings who, as a whole, are bitter towards God and Christians in general. An opportunity to go beyond my comfort zone and reach out, love, listen to, make dinner with, comfort, and encourage these men and women who use Christ's name in vain rather than praise, who live for today and not eternity, who thank Mother Earth for the mountains and sea and not Father God.
To say the least, I am being challenged by living up here, but I am grateful that even though I did not sign up for this, God is using me right where I am.
What did you not sign up for, but God is showing up?
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Posted in Alaska by Hannah Vitkus on 5/19/2011
Living with and working alongside zipline guides has been insightful for me in that I had no idea how rigorous their training is. There is a lot of pressure on them to be flawless in their performance, skill level, timing, and charisma/customer service skills.
Last night, I was talking to a guide who is in training. She told me how she was only permitted to make 3 mistakes or else she'd fail and be sent home to Vermont. Her test was this morning and I am not sure how it well, but what I do know is that I saw fear on her face as she talked about the dreaded number 3. I encouraged her as I prepared dinner for a friend, but I could tell she was still fixated on it when she went back to studying.
How often does this happen to you? Where the fear of failing is at the forefront of your mind, instead of what you are actually attempting to do—succeed, that is?
Is this helpful, beneficial? To be so centered on failing that ultimately, it is not a given, but a surprise when success is achieved?
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Posted in Alaska by Hannah Vitkus on 5/11/2011
After four flights and four amazing and of God conversations on Monday, I made it to Ketchikan, Alaska on Monday night.
Now, after a few days of working, hiking a nearby mountain, exploring in the cove, whale-watching, writing, and making new friends among my colleagues, I am beginning to transition and adjust to life here in the middle of nowhere, Alaska. I have enjoyed it, thus far. It has been refreshing to be in a new and drastically different place.
While I enjoy it, I must admit that as I write more, I cannot help but compare myself with other writers. What has helped, as of yesterday, is this line from yesterday's blog post by Michael Hyatt: “Never compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” This quote is from a guest post by Jon Acuff (author of "Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job and Your Dream Job."), who recently was interviewed by Dave Ramsey. He went on to encourage:
"This is just your beginning. Give yourself the gift of time. Love your dream and your adventure enough to allow it to grow slowly. Don’t be like me, sitting sweaty in a radio chair across from Dave Ramsey, beating yourself up and saying, 'I’m nowhere near as good at being on the radio as he is.' "
How many times have you compared yourself to the greatest, a professional, or the expert in your field?
If you are anything like me, I tend to compare myself to the greats that I admire, such as Mills, Twain, Shakespeare, Godin, and Hyatt. But as I reflect on this comparison game (which is more of a trap than anything else), I see that it does nothing but hinder me as I seek to improve my sociological outlook, writing endeavors, marketing, and leaderships skills.
I'd like to encourage you to stop comparing yourself to the best of the best, acknowledge where you are, and don't despise where you are and what you are learning, even if it is at a "beginning."
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Posted in Back in the U.S. of A! by Hannah Vitkus on 4/21/2011
I am packing.
I am moving away, once again, from my home and life in Nashville.
I do not plan to be gone long, just under 5 months to pursue a job at an adventure tour company up in Ketchikan, Alaska.
But as I pack up my camping gear, clothes, books, paperwork, and et al (I still do not own much post-Race), I am packing up my emotions and worries. For as much as I look forward to this adventure and opportunity to invest in the local churches in Ketchikan, I cannot help but feel the weight of this move.
Last year, I missed a few friends' weddings, but this year, I will be missing three births.
Which reminds me--isn't life all about birth? Even though I will miss three little ones at the beginning of their lives, I can no longer look around me without seeing a daily birth, be it of friendships, companies, passions, love, hyacinths, churches, ideas.
So as I depart (although I hope to return in October), as I pack, I know that I will miss the lives and births of those I love here, but I look forward to being a part of the lives and births of new friendships, ideas, passions, and anything else God has in store for me. I look forward to meeting not only my colleagues and locals, but I look forward to meeting God in a new and renewed way in the mountains, on the sea, in the woods, and in the homes and churches of the United States' 49th state.
I must ask, where do you see birth in your life?
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Posted in Back in the U.S. of A! by Hannah Vitkus on 4/21/2011
Not in a morbid sense, but in a kingdom sense, I have been thinking about eternity rather frequently as of late.
Last night, I was unable to fall asleep until nearly sunrise, so I prayed and wrote. This is but one of the antedotes to come of my tossing and turning:
Eternity is You
Part of me wants to know all the answers. Part of me needs to know that there is more--so much more--that God has in store for my life. Part of me wants to simply trust. But what is stopping me? Why am I not giving my all? Why am I holding back? Why am I fighting the only One I can truly trust? Why am I not listening to the Speaker?
The truth is, I like being in control. I like knowing the answers or at least figuring them out. I long to be home. I look forward to loving without fear.
God never promised any of this in the broken world we are all too familar with. But He did promise us Himself, the Creator and Sustainer of life. Not just any "life," but a real life, full of love, joy, and hope. A daily and lifetime hope. A hope that this life is just a shadow of what will come when we enter eternity.
But eternity is not to be so revered that it is placed away, like a trophy on a tall mantle, little by little, collecting dust as time marches on. No! Etenity is loving your neighbor as yourself, giving your time and resources to someone or something in need, feeding the hungry, donating clothes, loving your family, praying for others, ministering abroad.
Eternity is today. You are eternity.
What will you do today? How will you live your life differently?
But more than that, who are you becoming?
Etenity is now.
Etenity is you.
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Posted in Back in the U.S. of A! by Hannah Vitkus on 3/15/2011
I have been rather consumed lately. Consumed in thoughts, actions, emails, attempts, trys, and to be honest--fear.
It has taken me literally over a month to realize that I have allowed various fears (in the area of finances, career path, and self-worth) to take over and distract me from where God has me, Who He is, and what I am doing (or supposed to be doing) within my day-to-day life.
Outside of telling a few close friends, I have kept silent. I kept silent out of fear, but also out of self-preservation and pride.
But no longer.
I do not desire to live in fear. Do you?
I desire to live in God's love, in God's hope. Do you?
I am a daughter of God and I will, little by little, reclaim this truth in my life.
Will you?
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Posted in Back in the U.S. of A! by Hannah Vitkus on 2/23/2011
For as long as I can remember, I have been drawn to "the least of these." As an 11-year old volunteer at a food pantry in the suburbs of Chicago, a college student leader in a campus ministry in Spain, a helping hand in an L.A. church, volunteer and mentor in the Nashville area, a missionary with The World Race last year, and most recently as a team and I work together to start an organization to provide reading eyeglasses to children in Kenya. It was through The World Race that my team and I were assigned to serve, preach, teach, and counsel students of all ages in and around Kisumu and Isabania, Kenya, last summer.
After one particularly long and beautiful day of counselling, I asked our contacts and pastor about the number of students in need of glasses, for I had thought that there was a need, but was uncertain. I had worked with thousands of children and had seen less than a dozen with eyeglasses. My contacts and I discussed the need of eyeglasses, but within the context of extreme poverty, providing a home, food, and school fees were more pressing concerns for the children's parents.
As a planner, I started to think through the steps needed to fulfil this need. I began to research, dream, write, and get in touch with others, such as Seth Barnes who suggested Restoring Vision (restoringvision.org) in which I am fundraising for eyeglasses at 50 cents a pair and Tyler Malone (rtylermalone.com), a Nashville-based humanitarian and travel photographer who is as passionate about God and missions as he is about photography and media. It is through these two and over a dozen other individuals who have either shown an interest or have helped to contribute to my passion of providing eyeglasses to children in need.
My team and I are currently in the midst of designing a site and affiliated Facebook and Twitter pages, fundraising, connecting with the Kenya Initiative team, brain-storming and meeting with eye doctors and non-profit organizers, planning a test-run of fitting and giving eyeglasses to the impoverished in Nashville, and planning a logistical trip to Kenya for later this year.
We plan to take a team of volunteers in June of 2012 to Kenya to properly fit and provide eyeglasses to children in need. We are also looking at expanding Revision Eyecare to other areas throughout the world in the near future. We are still in the developmental stages of Revision Eyecare. We are looking for partners, support, and volunteers who are interested in going to Kenya with us or partnering with us Stateside. Feel free to contact me at hannahjvitkus@gmail.com. We will have a site up shortly (revisioneyecare.com.)
We've seen the need, now we must respond!
Will you?
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Posted in Back in the U.S. of A! by Hannah Vitkus on 2/16/2011
I fight rest.
I just do.
It is because I was made to do.
And do and do.
But as I try to put the pieces of the puzzle of my life in place, I keep hearing from friends, mentors, and those who know me well to rest.
But I just did not want to.
That is, until Saturday morning. I woke up defeated and consumed in uncertainty. I finally realized that rest is not just something to do, but something to be. Thanks to "The Way of the Heart" by Henri Nouwen, I am slowly rebuilding some sort of structural entity to help me not just re-center, but re-focus on what and Who matters most.
So, a trip planned a few weeks ago to Arizona to visit with my Grandmother and extended family for the next week and a half has come at the perfect time. I leave this afternoon and I am not sure when I will be able to write again, but as I pack up, I realize that this time is giving me a chance to step back and away.
I have found in the past that stepping back and away from the day-to-day life I live has helped me gain a new perspective and center. I am looking forward to simply 'being' in the desert and being in God's presence. I am also looking forward to reading "The Personal MBA" (Kaufman), "The Way of the Heart" (Nouwen), "How to Change the World, Social Entrepreneurs and the Power of New Ideas" (Bornstein), and some of "The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain."
Being away, alone, and in a quiet context has helped me in the past and while part of me knows I need to get a lot done in the area of organizing the non-profit, I cannot keep going like this. I cannot keep pushing ahead without long-term costs to my spiritual and physical health.
So, I am stepping back and away for a few days, but I am confident that I seek after God, He will, as always, surround and surprise me in ways I cannot imagine.
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Posted in Back in the U.S. of A! by Hannah Vitkus on 2/16/2011
I fight rest.
I just do.
It is because I was made to do.
And do and do.
But as I try to put the pieces of the puzzle of my life in place, I keep hearing from friends, mentors, and those who know me well to rest.
But I just did not want to.
That is, until Saturday morning. I woke up defeated and consumed in uncertainty. I finally realized that rest is not just something to do, but something to be. Thanks to "The Way of the Heart" by Henri Nouwen, I am slowly rebuilding some sort of structural entity to help me not just re-center, but re-focus on what and Who matters most.
So, a trip planned a few weeks ago to Arizona to visit with my Grandmother and extended family for the next week and a half has come at the perfect time. I leave this afternoon and I am not sure when I will be able to write again, but as I pack up, I realize that this time is giving me a chance to step back and away.
I have found in the past that stepping back and away from the day-to-day life I live has helped me gain a new perspective and center. I am looking forward to simply 'being' in the desert and being in God's presence. I am also looking forward to reading "The Personal MBA" (Kaufman), "The Way of the Heart" (Nouwen), "How to Change the World, Social Entrepreneurs and the Power of New Ideas" (Bornstein), and some of "The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain."
Being away, alone, and in a quiet context has helped me in the past and while part of me knows I need to get a lot done in the area of organizing the non-profit, I cannot keep going like this. I cannot keep pushing ahead without long-term costs to my spiritual and physical health.
So, I am stepping back and away for a few days, but I am confident that I seek after God, He will, as always, surround and surprise me in ways I cannot imagine.
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